The Poop

I gotta get a life.  I'm working, again, today.  Just learned one of my clients went to the ER last night. Anyway......I went to look at my emails and I spent almost 45 minutes deleting the junk mail.  My sister messages get all lost and tangled in the INTERWEB of pet meds and weight loss remedies, Lands End promotions and floral arrangements.  I have never purchased anything on the Internet except some doggie poop bags under the name of the home owners association.  Why do I get this stuff? I even get some weird HR magazines and newsletters from a floor suppliers. So pleased to find tucked among the clutter are these beautiful gems like Sponge Bob Divas at wallyworld, historical remembrance of booze, cigars, dogs and chicken coops.  Never a dull moment in my cyber-world. It's my 3D life which requires prescription lenses that needs a little focus. Tried to exchange my boob in like big sister did for a lighter and appropriate sized one. No go.  Got blocked by the lady who sold me that darn camisole...remember that?  I'm going commando again.  Ohhhh the humanity! My staff will just have to get used to it.

Happy Birthday Sara!!  Love you.  Have fun on the cruise, you lucky dog! Stay away from th rail.

Picking up good vibrations

Had one of those days, yesterday. Not what you think. Super good Vibes. Seems like the planets were all aligned and the chaos simmered downed. Walked into a JCPenney's. I wasn't immediately insulted, arrested or harassed in any way. Tom found three pair of slacks and four shirts in what was left of their Big and Tall department (size of a porta-potty (the department, not the pants....:)). Then went to a gold and silver vendor to purchase a gift for Bailey. Not only did we score by finding the item we wanted we got a great deal. Followed up the weekly errands at The grocery store ... Yep, prime parking spot. Couldn't get better. Tom bought a lottery ticket. Well, the good news is, he only spent a dollar. Home again and the women's Volley ball team was looking good. Michael, not so much, but in the finals (I think). I 'm afraid I fell asleep during the opening ceremonies the night before - must have been all the sheep. Finished the evening on the deck listening to music when the cat threw up. Okay, the chaos returns. But the vibe was lovey while it lasted.

P.S.  Don't look at the word GOOD too long.  It just looks funny. It's not right, especially in caps.

Loose Meat in the Food Court:

Recently my other half had to resort to walking in the local Mall to get away from the heat. There he was, loose meat in the food court. Ladies in pink, sparkled hats and joggers exercising their lattes and new balance footwear raise eyebrows in curiosity. His rambling gate unmatched and unseen until now prompted others to follow his path with their eyes. The lyrics "everyone is talking 'bout a new way of walking" comes to mind.  More curious is the hat wear and suspenders. A renegade, sporting hiking shoes and purposeful expression.  The dyed permed Mall Walkers do not know what to think of this oddity. The ladies get excited. Maybe he's fishing for something. .  . . . or someone.  They dump their paper cups and adjust fanny packs to maximize exposure of hard earned waistlines and buxom silhouettes. With a quick glance and knowing signal the ladies pair up and walk.  Even at their best they could not match his stride and fell back too far to get a closer look.  It was speculated that he was there only to walk. And walk he did. Cruising by window displays of Victoria's secret, bypassing the food court without even the slightest interest in the packs of super seniors plotting their daily activities he exudes the confidence of a practiced athlete. 

Like a good old plate of hamburger gravy and white bread this loose meat conjured memories of days past where young girls whispered and held hands while the football team stood on the sidelines glancing over their shoulders hoping to make eye contact and generate a spark. 

Is someone out there?

My stats tell me you are looking. Send me a message if you want

This is my final post. Being what it is, I need to let all of you know how important you are to me. I don't know when I became the person I am or why I have been the person I was. I feel I need to explain myself knowing I have failed to be the best person I can be, and more importantly I have failed to be the sister, daughter and mother I wish I was. But YOU, dear sisters, have been so generous allowing my indulgent, self serving and selfish rantings and have even encouraged me. It was healing. What have I learned?  Where I have been lacking you filled my void. As one eighth of the whole I hope to correct my inadequacy. In other words, I wish I were more like you. You are amazing and wonderful.  I'm lazy and distracted. So I close this blog and declare it history.  My future will be less me, and more you. I can't wait to get started.  

Nobody knows me like my sisters. Thank Goddess. 

Saw Dr. Dallas yesterday. She noticed my weight loss and commented on how good the scar tissue and puffy look and feel. Good news all around. Says I'm doing great. Lots of giggles and I half expected a pat on the rump as I exited the building. Instead in a grand gesture I raised my arms over my head as the automatic sliding doors opened giving the illusion that it was me parting the glass curtain. The bakery lady was impressed and gave me a big smile and a nod. She must see all types exiting those doors. She has a small bakery cart just outside the main lobby of oncology. Serving coffees and pastries to family and patients enduring the waiting. The emotion she must experience with each opening of those glass doors must be heart wrenching. The elderly couple holding each other up as they walk stooped shouldered past the baked goods...heads down, feet shuffling; the tween bravely sporting a flowered headband on a near bald head holding her mothers arm and whispering "it's going to be okay"; the wigged and jeweled power lady holding her head high exposing only the slightest fear in her firm jaw. What a parade that must be. All this flashes in my mind as I move past the cart to the next set of magical doors. I paused and waited. "Taa Daa". I grin and the doors open and I breath in the cool air. I look over my shoulder and, yep, she is grinning."Good" I think to myself. There is magic in these doors.

150.4. Whoo hoo! So my new goal is 145. Gonna get there. Why? My chest and arm feel so much better. The little weight loss has made a real difference. My tuck and roll is a minor annoyance. Summertime poses some new challenges. I'm surprised with the current fashion choices. Everything is scoop neck, and thanks to Michelle, sleeveless. I'd like to wear a sundress.....hummmm how about a toga? Yeah, that's the ticket! Gold sandals ..my hair does look a little Ceasar-esque. Why not a sleeveless sundress? Oh, believe me nobody wants to see what I got going on there, and when I bend over (yeah I can still do that) ... Well I don't want to put an innocent bystander in that "look away" moment and wish they hadn't seen THAT. Too much information. Where do baby corn come from? I saw some ugly at the market. Why is visable panty line unacceptable but it's okay for me to see the butt floss on my local retail clerk' the girl that touches my turnips? And why do the ladies think a little tramp stamp is something the rest of us want to see? I don't get it. So I'm self conscience about my flabby underarm back boob... Maybe I need a tattoo.

What a beautiful day.  We're having a false Spring/Summer weekend.  Everyone is out and about working in their yards. Power equipment buzzing at all hours of the day, local landscapers catching up with unattended yard debris, smell of fresh mowed lawns.  Last night we celebrated the rebirth of a downtown treasure. The local NPR station purchased an old derelict theater and last night was the lighting of the sign.  It is HUGE.  Our Urban renewal dollars appropriately assigned to make downtown Medford a destination.  Tom and I made a date of it.  We ate at the local Sushi restaurant (only 12 points - and we ate like pigs), then walked down the block and joined the gathering locals to witness the lighting.  Both of us hitching up our pants celebrating our own accomplishments, the slow and steady weight loss.  I haven't met my goal of 150 Lbs. but this old relic can boast 151.5.

MJ I!m not

Good morning. I gained a pound this week, but I'm not discouraged. I'm on a one and a half day fast. This morning I start my preparation for my first colonoscopy. Well really the preparation began a week ago. I was enrolled in an education session with Dr.I'mSoSmart. This guy is going to navigate cyber optics into my deepest self. I don't like him as a person, he is operating a drilling factory. I enter the factory floor and find myself taking a number and handed a clipboard. One by one the room full of subjects are escorted behind the curtain for vitals and signatures. My name was called (vaaada) and dutifully I step into the curtained space to have my blood pressure and temperature taken. List of medications in hand I willingly sign at the "X". I'm then directed to a small meeting room where Dr. stands in baggy pants and tussled hair in front of a whiteboard blocking the projected image of the golden gate bridge (??). Are we going on a trip? Well, sort of. After all is said and done this guy is telling me that his nurse (not one of those pessty anesthesiologist ) is going to inject us all with the Michael Jackson drug, propaphol. WHAT? This education session is really a C.Y.A .session..his, not ours. We are giving our consent to be given this scary drug that really isn't scary. We are given dates, statistics, and subjected to a photo journal of all the conferences where this guy spoke on the subject.....it was weird. I came home with detailed instruction to fast and purge.

So here I am. My last meal until tomorrow evening. 3 scrambled eggs and a cup of black coffee. I will make my cocktail of polyethylene glycol and gatorade or chicken broth and repeat every 45 minutes. No shopping today, no yard work, just staying close to the thrown. If this doesn't flatten my belly, just a little, nothing will. Yep, I'm 153 lbs. today ...bulked up for the fast. Going to keep myself busy today, keep my mind off food. Honestly? I know this is routine, but so is a mammogram. MJ, I'm not but Dr.I'mSoSmart will see I have the Thriller Experience.

Love you all!  :)

I totally spaced on this one.