Anticipation

I have reached the point in my diet where I ask myself ...."self, is this it?" I worry that I have reached that point where no matter what I do I can't lose.  I've been weighing in  around 150-160 for 15 years. I go up, I go down. Recently the UP has been bringing me down.  Hence the diet.  It's not so much the total weight, but the total shape of it all.  My goodness.  What a BOD!!!  They don't make clothes for this.  Short legs. Thunder thighs. Wide middle. No chest (1/2 a chest). Balloon upper arms. Let's not even mention the, ahh  buttock (lost all that cuteness).   So I plug away, watch my points, make choices about what goes in my mouth and yet it never occurs (well hardly never) to get off my fat ass and move.   I make certain I don't step on the scale until Sunday morning. I hesitate at the scale every weekday morning and battle the urge to throw off my robe and stand naked in the glow of the blinking neon digital testament to my will power. It's cruel. It's only 2 pounds, but how powerful those 2 little pounds are.  They dictate my future. If I fail do I have what it takes to shrug my shoulders and tell myself it's just a little set back.  Diets-geeze what a bore.