I'm reminded today that the side effects of breast cancer treatment is dull and boring. I'm dull and boring. The thing is, everyday, EVERYDAY I have to manage my fatigue, discomfort and pain and conquer my depression over these dull and boring side effects. Both arms throb with pain or tingle with numbness - Jolts of pain stab my feet and my ankles feel bruised. I can't sleep because my arms just don't have a place in my bed. There is still tenderness in my scar and the tissue below is stretched to its limit. I pull and stretch, massage and contort to keep it flexible, but its no use. My wrists are weak. My hand strength almost non existent. I'm tired. My clothes feel uncomfortable and under garment heavy with silicone. I tug and pull and reposition elastic and sop up the sweat before it soaks my clothes. All because of this little pill.
I'm tired of listening to myself and know that no one else wants to hear it. Who would? It's dull and boring. Come on already, enough is enough. Suck it up. I'm such a little pill.
No one should have to take this pill. But thank Goddess this little pill exists. Geeeze, I'm boring.
You are not! I wish I could take care of you -- make this go away. Was on my massage school blog after months of not getting in and what did I find? "#5 Bird House: What do you get when you cross a bee with a dog? Watch out-- the bees are coming. The ugly truth, the bees are after your dog. Please keep the breeds pure. Don't let this happen..." This, among s the assignments for gastrointestinal systems, bones and muscles. The pain IS boring. YOu in a million years could never be boring.
ReplyDeleteI second #4’s sentiment. You could never be boring! Your hurt & scared body saddens me to the core of my heart. Honestly, I often think of you (and #1) when I start to feel sorry for myself with my overused knees, arthritis elbows, and aching neck. Know that you and your blog keep me grounded. More importantly, you have o (who knew). Because of you, I’ve gained a level of respect for you all that have had to endure the cancer gig. Bottom line, I wish I could make all your pain go away. I love you honey.
ReplyDeleteYou help me get through every day! For the past two months I have had four skin cancer spots removed from my body; one was malignant! I have had over 30 shots, about 8 square inches of skin removed, burned, and stitched up. The areas where the skin was cut out and then pulled together and stitched is still numb yet very painful at the same time. The top of my shoulder looks like a drawstring change purse. My back looks like I was bit by a shark and my ear and arm look like I put my cigars out on them. But through all this, I thought about you ladies with breast cancer and I think this is small potatoes. You guys are my heroes!
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