Tuesday, May 25, 2010 7:31 PM, CDT
Thank you for getting your mammograms. I'd like to share some thoughts on pain: Although I have had the normal growing and aging pains I don't believe I have ever really lived with pain. It was clear to me the moment of my first needle biopsy that I never really experienced pain. I am now managing pain. It sucks. I worry that I will get hooked on my pain meds. I experimented and learned I can't maintain without my pain meds. It sucks. I know I will get over my pain, but now I understand I now know what I fear, the pain.
My pain isn't what I expected it would be. It goes beyond localized hurt, it's deeper and unlocalized, it's cold, dull and gray. It doesn't throb, it's sneeky and crawls, it occassionaly and unexpectedly jabs and stabs-then hides behind needle pricks. My pain changes my mood, my energy my appetite and zaps me of confidence and motivation. I've had to learn to "get in front of the pain". New concept for me..do not wait for the pain and take the meds...take the meds before you need them. I was told that effectively managing the pain decreases the recovery time by 50%. It wasn't until I was told this that I understood that I need to stay in front of the pain. Pain is such a pain. Geeze...I'm rambling....must be time for my meds.
Typical, I'm embarrased to call and ask for a refill. What's that all about? I've identified my need to be strong and stay in front of the pain.
I appreciate everyone's offer to come and help. Right now I'm doing well (staying in front of the pain). I will get my Chemo schedule this Thursday and will have a better idea if and when I may need help. But I'm always open to company. Radiation therapy will be 5/days a week, for 6 weeks after the Chemo therapy, several months away. I've decided I will take off 2 weeks from work during radiation, probably the last 2 weeks. I expect some major pain management will be in order.
Don't want to be a PAIN, but if you haven't gotten your exam, please do not wait, do not hesitate, be good to yourself and Get-er-done. Love you!!
My pain isn't what I expected it would be. It goes beyond localized hurt, it's deeper and unlocalized, it's cold, dull and gray. It doesn't throb, it's sneeky and crawls, it occassionaly and unexpectedly jabs and stabs-then hides behind needle pricks. My pain changes my mood, my energy my appetite and zaps me of confidence and motivation. I've had to learn to "get in front of the pain". New concept for me..do not wait for the pain and take the meds...take the meds before you need them. I was told that effectively managing the pain decreases the recovery time by 50%. It wasn't until I was told this that I understood that I need to stay in front of the pain. Pain is such a pain. Geeze...I'm rambling....must be time for my meds.
Typical, I'm embarrased to call and ask for a refill. What's that all about? I've identified my need to be strong and stay in front of the pain.
I appreciate everyone's offer to come and help. Right now I'm doing well (staying in front of the pain). I will get my Chemo schedule this Thursday and will have a better idea if and when I may need help. But I'm always open to company. Radiation therapy will be 5/days a week, for 6 weeks after the Chemo therapy, several months away. I've decided I will take off 2 weeks from work during radiation, probably the last 2 weeks. I expect some major pain management will be in order.
Don't want to be a PAIN, but if you haven't gotten your exam, please do not wait, do not hesitate, be good to yourself and Get-er-done. Love you!!
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